How to get over my pool light phobia? (Its weird i know)?

So since i was little i was uncomfortable about the idea of elecricity mixed with water even with saftey precautions... but i eventually got over and forgot about it until a few years ago about 3 when i was swimming at night and i was underwater right under the light and it went off... i freaked out almost got a heart attack and as i got to the surface and it was right in front of me it turned back on and i thought i was gonna get electrocuted, so i jumped out of the pool and shut it off..... i didnt swim at night or use the light at all until a year later when i gave it a try and it worked for the first few weeks then it happened again 3 times in a row then it wouldnt turn on at all for the like 8 hours... so i never until this date used it. I'm 17 and my dad doesnt want to get it checked out as we are not going to use it again... and recently i tried to test the GFCI to see if it would trip the light but the test button was stuck and the light remained on. So now i am sooooo scared to swim in a pool at all with any light at any time of the day. I tried to go today but i couldnt take my eyes off it because im afraid that if i turn around it will turn on and malfunction... im just paranoid even if its off. Is there any way i can go swimming without always being paranoid of the light. Like i said im 17 and my dad doesnt think it needs to be checked and wont do it, but im still scared as ****..... please help